The Merle Debacle Pt. I

First of all I have nothing against the merle coloring in dogs, in fact I think it's quite a beautiful color. It comes in many shades and variations and all of them are actually very lovely.

  Black merle, red merle, blue merle, and tweed merle. 

What I am here to bitch talk about is the idiocy of -bad- merle breeders. Clarifying the fact that not all merle breeders, but BAD merle breeders piss me the fuck off.

I suppose I ought to explain a bit about the merle gene first. This is the single gene in the canine DNA strand labeled 'M' that is responsible for producing all of the merles in the canine world. The 'M' gene is a dominant gene, which means that only one copy is required to produce a merle dog. It is called merle in most breeds such as the border collie, Australian shepherd, catahoula leopard dog, cardigan Welsh corgi, etc. It is called 'dapple' in dachshunds. It exists in many breeds from tiny to giant. It can affect any color as it is actually a modifier, not a base color.

mm- Non-merle. The dog is not merle and cannot produce merle offspring.
Mm- Merle. The dog is merle colored and usually produces 25-50% merle offspring.
MM- Double Merle. The dog is merle, can only produce merle offspring, and has a tendency to be mostly white, deaf, and have eye problems or blindness.

Breeding for color first and foremost is just stupid... You're sacrificing the health and temperament of the dogs in order to produce color. It should never ever be done this way. Health should always been number one when breeding animals, followed very closely by temperament. We, in the animal world, have a term we use for people who breed strictly for color... 'Krazy Kolor Breeders'. People like that should be shot, or simply never allowed to breed animals in their lives.

A GOOD dog is NEVER a bad color.

A dog with phenomenal health and temperament should never be shut out by any breeder just because it was born the 'wrong' color.

The merle gene in double doses acts like a 'lethal' gene. Something like Overo Lethal White Syndrome in horses, Pearl coloring in rats, Afghan coloring in sheep, etc. It's not a complete lethal though, as the puppies from dominant merle breedings, 'double' merles, usually live, but have a host of severe health issues.

The thing that really gets under my skin is people who don't do their fucking research and breed merle to merle. The results are usually catastrophic. The pups are usually born mostly white with small patches of merle coloring (a few may have a lot of coloring, though). Some may be solid white. Over half, often all, of the puppies will be deaf or have some kind of hearing impairment. Over half usually have eye problems, many are blind. Some are born with very tiny eyes, half eyes, or are born without any eyes at all. Breeding merle to merle causes the suppression of pigment cells (melanocytes) in the iris of the eyes and in the stria vascularis of the cochlea in the inner ears and leads to blue eyes, anomalies, and deafness.

  Double merle Australian shepherd. Deaf, blind, with tiny almost nonexistant eyes. 

Congenital deafness is a huge factor in merle breeding. Most do not research enough and end up with a litter of deaf/blind puppies under the idiotic mantra "but ALL of the puppies are guaranteed to be merle!" and thus can be sold for more based upon color alone. What they don't realize is double merle puppies are usually mostly white, and thus disproves their reason for breeding in the end. Yes all of the puppies will produce only merle offspring, but they themselves will be mostly white and have a myriad of health problems. Still people breed for just this reason! There is NO reason what-so-ever to breed unhealthy dogs on the basis of color! It's absurd and the resulting litters of mostly white puppies with numerous health problems, like blindness, deafness, and sunburn issues, are the only ones that suffer.

There have even been reports of dog owners who wanted to breed merles for the colorful puppies, selected two merle parents, bred them, and then upon the disappointment of getting litter after litter of white, blind, deaf puppies have drowned, gassed, or had them all euthanized.

When the dogs born, if they live, like this grow up they grow up in a dark and soundless world most of the time. And the only reason for this is because of stupid fucking breeders who don't give a shit about the health of the animals and breed merle to merle simply because they know the dogs will produce only merle offspring, or breed under the assumption that all the pups will all be normal looking merles, or they were merle people who didn't do any kind of research to begin with. No matter how you look at it, it is WRONG. There is no need for this. The only reason these dogs exist in their sad ill-health short-lived states is because of selfishness and stupidity.

And it gets worse...

Breeders are deliberately breeding litters of double merles in order to keep a double merle male dog for stud, even knowing of the health issues that will result. It doesn't matter to them because he can be registered with whatever breed/kennel club and he will make a mint as a stud dog because he can only produce merle puppies, no matter what bitch he is bred to.

Wyndlair Avalanch... a double merle collie with retinal atrophy and deafness is the nations TOP SIRE of merle collies, because he can produce only merles... He has a boatload of health problems, a weak rear end, bad movement, and yet he is a top stud and he continues to churn out more and more puppies, merle and double merle.

Double merles, blind with tiny problem ridden eyes, deaf, and full of health problems.

Dogs like these are advertised time and again and bred, rebred, and bred some more to both merle and non-merle dogs... Simply because they can -only- produce that pattern. Breeders breeding for color only. The sacrifice of health for little more than coat pattern.

I think any breeder who thinks it's okay to breed the unhealthy messes they are just to get a certain color because it's 'more flashy' or 'valuable' needs to be put in stocks and flogged for days. They have no right being dog breeders.

Pets as presents.

Coming soon, January 2013, to a shelter/rescue near you:

Christmas puppies, kittens, bunnies, birds, rodents, reptiles, ponies, etc...

There's just something about the warm wiggly body of a puppy, the soft ears, the cold nose that makes many people think "Oh, hey, InsertNameHere would LOVE a puppy for Christmas!" How many little girls dream of waking up to a cute little pony with a big red bow around it's neck? This is quite possibly the dumbest holiday decision anyone can make, and not just for puppies, but for any animal: Giving pets as gifts.

Let us explore the issue now that Christmas is finally over and the pets have found their way under the tree, into the barn, into the cage, etc.

Where, in anyone's right mind, do they think that is okay to get an animal for someone as a holiday gift? This is not something that can just be tucked away into a closet, under the bed, or thrown away when it's usefulness or novelty has ran its course. This is a life that you are willingly or unwillingly thrusting upon someone else. Sure they may want an animal to enter their lives soon. They may want to get a pony for their children or they may want a new household puppy for the family but that does not mean that a family member or friend should run right out and just pick the first animal that is "sooo keeeooot" and drop it on their doorstep with a bow. Bam. Merry Christmas. Here's a life that you've now got to take care of, feed, water, house, train, and provide veterinary care for, for the next five (for rodents/rabbits), to fifteen-twenty (for dogs/cats), to thirty plus years (in the case of ponies/birds), like it or not.

Well, few people see it that way. The cold hard fact of the matter is, about 80% of animals given as gifts wind up as shelter pets awaiting death, as strays, as gifts for someone else, as objects to be sold, and so on. Only about 20% of pets given as gifts actually find a long-term home with those they were given to, and fewer still, a lifetime home.

The people who often get puppies for their children soon realize that the kids are not interested in the dog, want nothing to do with its care, and don't really care at all that it is around after the first few weeks. They don't want to walk it, feed it, train it, or pay any attention to it. So it falls to the parents. Then things change. The new cute puppy is not house-trained, it potties everywhere, it chews up everything, it jumps on everyone, it cries in the night from lack of attention, it doesn't know any commands, it escapes, it play-bites and rough-houses too hard, it sheds, it's dirty, the list goes on an on. So what happens next? The not-so- cute puppy has to go. Some people will try to find the puppy a new home by selling it, some by giving it away, and those that can't find a new home for it these ways or are just too lazy or want it gone as soon as possible do the next thing, a one way trip to the animal shelter to be dumped off. No more naughty puppy in the house. End of problem.

The same happens with the little girls who begged for the pony. Someone offers up a cheap pony and it's bought for the child. Of course on Christmas the child loves it. But soon after things change. Pony steps on the child's foot or bites when trying to nibble grain from the small hands. Accidentally knocks the child over or the child falls off while riding and is now afraid of the once coveted pony. Or, the other side. No one knew how expensive the pony would be. A barn or lean-to, blankets, halter, saddle, bridle, bits, farrier, etc. Hay is too expensive! We can't afford this! Or pony ends up with no manners because no one in the house has done any research or has any horse knowledge. And what's to happen to the pony when the small child outgrows it later on? Getting a bit ahead here with that, so the pony is too expensive, a quick sales ad or a trip to auction is a quick way to be rid of the unneeded expense.

And it happens over and over and over again. Every. Single. Year. With a myriad of different animals.

Shelters/pounds/rescues swell to overflowing in the early parts of the year with an influx of animals that were bought as Christmas gifts and after the novelty wore off or the animal is too expensive/unruly got dumped.

People need to stop and use their damn brains, if they have them, before buying a pet for someone as a gift. Dogs need food, water, grooming, training, veterinary care, exercise, attention. Cats need food, water, litter, veterinary care, attention, enrichment. Ponies need feed, water, tack, training, grooming, shelter, veterinary care, exercise, riding/use, farrier care, space. Birds need food, water, training, attention, UV light, companionship, proper caging. Rodents need food, water, attention, dental care, veterinary care, proper caging. Reptiles need food (90% of the time other animals like rodents/insects), water, handling, proper caging/lighting, etc. There is a lot of work involved in owning an animal. Every single day that animal needs looking after. When you're sick, depressed, angry, and so on that animal still looks to you to take care of it, inconvenient or not.

On top of it, people need to get it in their thick skulls that this is a LIFE, it is not an object. You can't just throw it in the trash when you're done with it. Many animals live more than a decade, some live two or three decades, a few live even longer. Expenses add up when you take the life of another creature into your hands. You are responsible for all that creature needs from the moment you acquire it until it's death, however many years later.

Animals are not for gifts, convenience, or for novelty... they are for life. Next time you think about getting someone a cute puppy or a feisty kitten as a present, just  DON'T.

Shootings and Personal Agendas

This blog comes in light of the recent shooting massacre in Newton, Connecticut. Let me just say what I want to say right out of the gate here:

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT ALREADY.

Everyone, from your single mom, to the stay-at-home dad with seven kids, teens, friends, family, and more have made some kind of comment, meme, tacky image, talk show, news-cast, argument, debate, radio-cast, etc about the shooting. It's been twisted, turned, flipped, and warped to promote every kind of view from gun laws, school safety, parenting, mental health, home-schooling, private schooling, household life, politics, religion, video games, hunting, etc. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Things like loss of life, especially the lives of nearly twenty innocent children, should never, ever be used to promote personal views. They should not be used as leverage to promote stricter gun laws, heavier weapon taxing, less violence in video games, etc. Horrific crimes like the Connecticut shooting happen randomly all the time, in every country, all around the world. Most of them we don't hear about in the states, and even fewer care to give a damn. So why turn one of the shootings here into the means to promote personal agendas? It's just fucked up beyond reason. They have happened for decades beyond count and to this day, there is no one who can pinpoint as to why a sick fucker would want to kill a mass of innocent people, in this case, school children.

There will never be a foolproof was to prevent such tragedies like these from happening. So you want to take away peoples' right to own and bear firearms. That's not going to stop people from using a knife or machete to go on a stabbing spree, or someone who wants to use a pipe bomb made from feed-store chemicals from blowing up a church on Sunday. Face it, there are sick and twisted people all over the world. No one knows what they are thinking/feeling mentally or when they will be triggered and snap, doing whatever they may to take as many innocent lives before ending their own. No one will ever know. That's reality.

The media needs to back the fuck off, let the parents/families of the victims grieve in peace. They need to have memorials and cope the best they know how. After which, public memorials and remembrances for the victims should be held where each innocent life might be reflected on, NOT THE SHOOTERS. That, right there, is probably the number one reason that people go on these rampages, kill many people, and then kill themselves, because they know that their name, NOT the names the loved ones they killed, will be the one to live on throughout history.

Think about it. The names of the killers from the Columbine shooting, the Virginia Tech shooting, the Timothy McVeigh massacre, the Jeffrey Dahmer murders, all live in in history because people remember them. Hell, most of them are household names. Most people know the names of the Columbine killers by heart. Timothy McVeigh, Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Ed Gein... All household names. Most have had movies, shows, songs, games, and so on made about the crimes they committed. Do you think anyone remembers the names of their victims off the top of their head? Fuck no they don't. People remember carnage, not the loss of innocent life. The human mind thrives on chaos, fear, pain, and bloodshed. That is why they are remembered. And that is why people continue to commit sick killing spree crimes. Because they know it will immortalize them.

There are many viewpoints since this happened. Some say "Arm the teachers!" and are, of course, met with strict, fierce, and even violent opposition with statements like "More murders! Blood in the classroom! Overemotional reasoning!"And of course then the people behind it defend their own views by insisting that teachers would be better able to protect their students. The truth is, people with legal concealed firearms have stopped many rampage killings by causing the would-be killers to either surrender or, in the other case, take their own life, therefore effectively eliminating the threat. Concealed weapons are a good thing because again, face it, most people carrying a little pocket or holster side handgun are not going to go open fire in a crowded place just because. It takes a special kind of twisted mother-fucker to do that.

Here are some numbers for you. The average number of people shot in a mass shooting where the shooter is stopped by law enforcement: Fourteen. The average number of people shot in a mass shooting event when the shooter is stopped by a civilian with a gun or concealed weapon: Two-Three. The reason is simple. The armed civilians are there when it started. Reaction time is set in seconds or even fractions or seconds, not in minutes. Long before the police can even be notified the killer could have already taken dozens of innocent lives.

Think about the places that say "NO GUNS ALLOWED"... Trolley Square, Utah (No-Gun Zone). The Batman movie theater shooting (No-Gun Zone). Columbine High School (No-Gun Zone) Think about. People go into places like these to commit these crimes because they know that no one there will have a gun to stop them, which buys them an insane amount of time to commit their heinous acts.

There were four mass killing attempts this in the past two weeks. Only one made the news, because it made the media narrative/viewpoint look better. Oregon. NOT a gun free zone. Shooter confronted by concealed holder, took their own life. Few casualties.Texas. NOT a gun free zone. Shooter killed immediately by off duty cop. Few casualties. Connecticut. GUN FREE ZONE. Elementary school. Shooter kills until the police arrive. Suicide. 28 dead. China. GUN FREE COUNTRY. A guy with a KNIFE stabs 22 children. Over the last fifty years, with only one single exception, every single mass shooting event with more than four casualties has taken place in a place where guns are expressly NOT allowed.

Taking away guns is not going to stop this. Nor will stricter gun laws.

Gun laws exist for law-abiding legal gun-owning citizens. Let's be real here. Shooters are not law-abiding legal gun-owning citizens. Truth be told, over 90% of the guns used in crimes are illegally owned or stolen. Revoking gun ownership would just mean that psychopaths would find other means to carry out their mass killings and even fewer would be able to stop it.

Christmas has gone to the birds.

So I've come to the conclusion that Christmas has gone to the birds, literally. You see and hear about them everywhere when it comes to these festive holiday traditions. They are in songs, images, dining, etc. Think about it:

In songs:

"...and a partridge in a pear tree."
"...two turtle doves."
"...three French hens."
"...four calling birds."
"...six geese-a-laying."
"...seven swans-a-swimming."

And furthermore, in the Twelve Days of Christmas, the 'five golden rings' does not mean five glimmering bands made of expensive metal. It actually refers to five golden ring-necked pheasants, which are indeed another bird.  Ten lord’s a leaping… There is a woodpecker called the Lord God Bird and it leaps. In fact many birds leap. Eight maids a milking, the cuckoo bird is often called a 'maid bird' and they milk their young. Nine ladies dancing… The lady roco bird is known for its courtship dancing. Eleven pipers piping probably refers to sandpipers. Twelve drummers drumming. The ruffled grouse is often called a partridge or prairie drummer. So yeah, it really is about the birds.

"...gone away is the bluebird, here to stay is a new bird."

"...we're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather would be."

In imagery:

The typical depiction of birds during Christmas are...

-Chickens, geese, and ducks surrounding the manger with the other animals.
-Doves signifying peace on Earth.
-Penguins are a huge Christmas tradition.
-Christmas ornaments.
-Cardinals, goldfinches, chickadees depicted on frosted window panes or pine trees.

In food:

Birds are typically eaten for most holiday family dinners.

"...four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie."

-Turkey.
-Geese.
-Duck.
-Pheasant.
-Game-hen.
-Chicken.
-Quail
-Partridge

So in closing, if you stop to think about it, Christmas has really been symbolized by birds for as long as it has truly been a holiday. I wonder if Santa has a pet parrot... I smell fowl play.

Doomsday

(Taking a quick break from the Christmas blogging, just for this.)

Let me start off this blog by first just saying the whole doomsday craze and people getting all up in arms about it is just... stupid. Stupid. STUPID.

Spazzing out about the whole 'end of the world' not only makes you sound stupid it makes you look just as so.

And of course, the explanations behind my very biased reasoning...

There is still no direct link to anywhere that states exactly where the whole Mayan Long-Count Calendar end signifies the 'end of the world'. Yes it signifies the end of a 144,000 day long cycle, or 394 years, and the end of the 13th b'ak'tun, or sun-circle. It has also been noted by many notible historians that in the Mayan writing it is told, we end this 13th b'ak'tun just to begin a new 14th b'ak'tun on the 22nd of 2012. A new era.

99% of what people believe as true about the Mayan calendar's end is all based upon the shit they have read on the internet, heard on the radio, or seen on TV. The whole Mayan Doomsday is a completely Western notion of thinking. Sheeple (humans) are so gullible and so stupid. They will believe anything that the media tells them. Seriously. Anything. People believed the psycho bullshit about Y2K, the Satanic Doomsday on 06/06/06, the Evangelical rapture on May 21st, 2011, 11/11/11, and now this. Really? Are people so gullible and naive to believe anything that they are told? Yes. Anything that is passed over by the mainstream media is taken as instant truth. Which is downright ridiculous.

The scary thing is, people are taking it to the extremes. There is a family with two middle school kids whose children told their teacher about their parents' plan to kill themselves the night before the Winter solstice and 'Doomsday'. This is something we can expect to see a lot more of in the next day or so. I can bet there will be a wave, however small or large, of mass suicides from the Doomsday cults that have been awaiting and preparing for that day.

Aside from that, there is a swir of crap floating around the internet about what's going to happen on Friday to cause the end of the world as we know it.

1. Some say that the world will be sucked into a huge black hole that is 30,000 lightyears away from Earth and wipe us out in the blink of an eye. To be honest, this is absurd. Anything 30,000 lightyears away is much to far to cause any harm to Earth.

2. Rogue planet Niburu or Planet X is going to collide with Earth causing cataclysmic damage and it would be like the Dinosaurs all over again with mass extinction. Again, stupid. There is no such planet as Niburu. Niburu was a minor god in ancient Mesopotamian writing, and in some books it's just another fictional planet. Planet X is a name used by scientists to describe a hypothetical planet, such as Pluto was.

3. Earth's rotation will suddenly reverse and we'll all be thrown off-kilter and die. Not even close. There isn't a cosmic known force in nature that could suddenly just stop the force, speed, and rotation of this planet for no reason and then just reverse it just as easily.

4. Three days of utter darkness will envelope the planet before Christmas. Where the hell did this come from? What, is someone just going to grab the little pull-chain attached to the sun and yank it, dousing us in darkness for only three days, and then pull it again to turn the sun back on? Do they even realize how stupid that sounds?

Etc...

I mean in all honesty, people are batshit crazy about this whole doomsday nonsense. They are obsessed with the idea of a mass extinction of our species. I mean while I agree with the fact that mankind has become a plague on our gloriously beautiful planet, it's not likely to happen due to some huge celestial or cosmic force anytime in the foreseeable future. We're far more likely to kill ourselves off by nuclear fall out from a world war, by killing our planet as She can no longer support us as a species, by some kind of rapidly spreading incurable disease pandemic, or by global-scale mass poisoning of ourselves due to chemical, pollution, drug, etc.

To make my point, there is this: I had a lady client bring her dog into my shop to get groomed today. It was filthy as hell, matted to the skin, and stunk like a rancid pond. Hadn't been groomed in over a year. I was curious as to why, no, after all this time she was bringing it in but I couldn't bring myself to ask her. So I waited and she told me anyway. She said this, and I quote hilariously: "I want him to look beautiful if the world ends Friday."

...

I was like "...what." Mental facepalm. Yet I held in my strong insatiable need to laugh until after she left. Oh goodness. The hilarity.

What the hell is the world coming to?

Ah, I suppose it doesn't matter. We'll all be 'dead and gone' Friday anyway. Ha ha ha.

...I mean really, we've already survived 4 'apocalypses', what's one more?

Christmas Annoyances & Irritations Pt. 1

Continuing on with my Christmas theme, here are a few small and random things about the yuletide season that are worth mentioning but don't have enough content to each have their own blog.

Flavored candy canes... Why can't we stick with good old fashioned candy cane flavors like peppermint, spearmint, wintergreen, and cinnamon in the typical striped pattern? Why does every candy company in the world think they have to get in on the candy cane movement by offering candy canes in a multitude of their flavors and plastering them with images of different characters all over the cellophane? For example, there is no need for Jolly Rancher candy canes to even exist. Jolly ranchers are a hard candy, candy canes are a hard candy. Everyone knows what a pain in the ass it is to bite a Jolly Rancher in half, so hey let's go ahead and make candy canes out of the same stuff! Stupid. And what's with all of the Jolly Rancher flavors? We don't need artificially colored blue raspberry, lemon, apple, grape, and cherry flavored Jolly Rancher candy canes that no one can bite through and stain your mouth, furniture, hands, and clothing. Not to mention the other countless stupid themed candy canes, like Hello Kitty, that come in dessert flavors like strawberry shortcake and root beer float or the Coldstone candy canes that come in a multitude of disgusting ice cream flavors like tin roof sundae or peanut butter cup. Stop making them already. What's more, why do they make candy canes for Easter now? I mean I can see because it's shaped like a shepherd's crook, but still, it's a Christmas thing. Leave it there.

Christmas 'Colors'. When did the typical red, green, blue, white, silver, and gold Christmas colors get turned into kiwi green, magenta, sky blue, mango orange, hot pink, and yellow!? I mean I like to go out and look for nice traditional styled ornaments and now as soon as they put out any kind of Christmas decorations for sale it looks like Mardi Gras fucking exploded all over the place. All the trees that are decorated look like Mardi Gras vomited on all of the branches with artificially colored feathers, strings of plastic beads, rainbow tinsel balls, and glitter... Everything is fucking covered in nasty glitter. (Twi-hards, that should make you proud.) What happened to simple, elegant matte finished glass bulbs, or the clear ones etched with snowflakes? I miss that kind of thing. What's worse, pastels are in fashion for Christmas this year. You can get hot pink Christmas trees now, lime green ones, pale yellow, etc. I mean really. When did Easter colors become Christmas colors? Don't get me wrong, I have a little guilty pleasure about new colors, I loved when they had all of the royal purple and black decorations, but that only lasted for two years. The royal purple has now become lavender... I don't want my Christmas tree to look like Easter exploded all over it either! I'm all for new and exciting things but when you go out looking for decorations that are somewhat traditional as far as colors and all you can find is stuff that looks like it belongs on Mardi Gras Barbie's Dream Tree, that's where I get irritated.

Materialism/Selfishness. Christmas has become nothing but "I want, I want, I want..." It's all about who you know and how much money they have. Those people are usually asked to buy the most expensive gifts. Everything about Christmas has turned from the original point to being about nothing but money, gifts, and what everyone expects others to get for them. Why can't it be the way it used to be? It pisses me off that people are so materialistic and greedy. Get off your fucking high-horses and instead of being a selfish bunch of bitches on Christmas counting out what you got, why don't you pick up the fucking phone and call someone you haven's seen in ages just to tell them Merry Christmas. Remember, there are a lot of people out there that have a lot less than you, even people in your own family that may be having a bad day on Christmas. Stop thinking about just yourself and try to make someone else feel joy this Christmas. If you are one of the people that can't afford to get a gift for someone, don't turn into a Grinchy prick, stop by, just say hello, give them a hug. Hell draw them a Christmas card with a crayon and take the time to write a little message inside. It's the little things that should matter. I'd rather spend time with someone I love on Christmas than to have all of the gifts in the world. Selfishness and materialism piss me off.

...To be continued.

Christmas Scare Tactics, Bribery, and Absurdities

Today I heard the mother of it all on the radio: Christmas Scare-tactics.

Specifically I mean those used during this festive holiday time to get children, significant others, spouses, and pets to 'behave', The absurdity of it all is enough to make me vomit. So let me explain what I mean from the perspective of each of the previously stated. Some examples of the scare-tactics and how they are used.

Parents: The scare/bribery tactics used most by parents during the holidays are these: "If you do not behave Santa won't come." "If you're bad Santa won't bring you presents." "If you're bad Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie, etc. won't give you any presents either." "If you're bad, we won't go see Santa." And the bribery tactics: "If you're good, I'll make sure Santa brings you everything you want." "If you're super good, Grandma will give you more presents." Etc. And even fear tactics, having someone call your house, acting as Santa, and threatening the kid if he/she is bad Santa will skip over their house this year. This kind of thing makes me sick. The kids they had, live on the radio talking to 'Santa' were sobbing before they got off the phone. Kids should not fear losing their Christmas wishes because of a little disobedience (I'm talking small stuff, not breaking a window because they're angry kind of thing). They're fucking children not saints. They rebel, they disobey, they act out of line, because, face it, kids will be, and act like kids!

Significant Others/Spouses: This one comes from a song that I hear all the time and it really irks me. The song is "Santa Baby" by Eartha Kitt (1953), covered by a myriad of artists on today's radio stations, namely Madonna and Marylin Monroe. The reason it irritates me is because if you listen to the lyrics the whole song basically says "I didn't kiss other guys, sleep around, cheat on you, or go 'have fun', but if you don't bring me all of the things I want, I just might do so next year." This is the specific verse that screams 'give me, or else':

"Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you'll check off my Christmas list."

And I know I'm reading a lot into a line in a song, but the reality is, there are people like this. Quite a few women and men these days are like this. Basically they give their spouse or significant other the ultimatum of buying them extravagant expensive gifts or they may or may not stay faithful/loyal to the relationship, or lesser so, they won't reciprocate gifts. Materialistic people really piss me off, so this one really really crawls under my skin. If you have to make materialistic demands for Christmas just to stay committed to your relationship you deserve to have your ass dumped on the sidewalk in the snow on Christmas Eve. Christmas should just be about spending time with your significant other/spouse and family, and lastly about the amount spent on gifts.

Pet Guardians: I had a lady in my groom shop a few days back whose dog was going nuts. So she bent down to the kennel and said "Oh honey, be good. If you're not good Santa won't want to bring you any treats or toys." I looked over and just stared. Really? Let's just face it, threatening your dog, cat, horse, goldfish, or any other animal with lack of gifts or a visit from Santa on Christmas just makes you look ridiculous. Animals don't give a shit about Christmas or about your scare-tactics. All they know about the holidays is people are running around like headless chickens, there's a heavily decorated pee-post in the living room or cat-climbing toy, and everyone's emotions are all out of whack for whatever reason.

To be serious, though, using scare-tactics to try to get people or animals to 'be good' through the holidays is just ridiculous and only proves that you really are more stupid than you appear.

Still concerning reindeer: The Donder Fiasco

"...you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid... and Donner... and Blitzen."

Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold the friggen phone. Did you just say 'Donner'? The reindeer's correct name is 'Donder'. It's got to be one of my all time pet-peeves about Christmas. People calling the damn reindeer in the song or otherwise 'Donner' when in reality, that is not his name.

So let's go back to where it all started:

Santa's eight reindeer first appeared on December 23rd, 1823 in a poem by a New York author Clement Clarke Moore (Some believe it was actually written by Henry Livingston) called "A Visit From St. Nicholas" more commonly known as "Twas the Night Before Christmas". The line in the poem that the names originally started with is thus:

"More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder, and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

The first writing of the poem stated that the last two reindeer were named 'Dunder' and 'Blixem' but were altered by the author himself the year before he died, when his last manuscript, a hand-written version of the poem has them labeled once and for all 'Donder' and 'Blitzen', as he obviously intended them to be.

"Donner" replaced "Donder" in the publication of the 1939 story book 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer', written by Robert L. May, and was later further canonized by Gene Autrey's song 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'.

The switch most likely came about when translating the poem. First of all, the original poem is not German as it is all too often announced. The last two reindeer's names were also not German, but Dutch. The original Dutch name, 'Dunder' (Donder), means Thunder, and in English, the German word is spelled 'Donner'. (And the Dutch word for lightning is 'Blixen', whereas the German word is 'blitzen'. This is probably the most likely reason it got changed in both the Rudolph book and song. Someone thought 'oh hey, it's widely accepted as a German poem, so they should be German names..." Wrong-o, fuckers. Shame to the people who did not do the proper research and just thought it okay to alter such an iconic Christmas figure, Donder, with what was easier or falsely believed to be German, instead of the correct Dutch name.

A few publications/films in modern times still call the reindeer by his proper name. The original 1934 Miracle on 34th Street, Mrs. Santa Clause, Reindeer Holiday, etc.

I am a firm 'Donder; supporter, and I still bitch, to this day, every single time I hear the damn vile Rudolph song come on the radio.

Fairytale and Fact: Reindeer

So, there is a little something about the whole icons of Christmas that irk me to death: Reindeer.

Let's explore this, shall we?

So you're out buying Christmas decorations, Christmas wrapping paper, or other festive Christmas things. This is typically what you will find when you are looking at holiday items that have 'reindeer' depicted on them:

Everything about these creatures, minus the holiday decor, is all wrong... The species is wrong in and of itself. These are typical depictions of what white-tail deer and American elk look like, like this:

...and this is what a true, real life reindeer looks like:

Reindeer (Rangifer tarandus), also known as the caribou in North America, area species of deer native to Arctic and Subarctic regions. They are found in Norway, Iceland, Lapland, Canada, Alaska, and a few other places. Reindeer vary considerably in colors from deep brown, nearly black, to all shades of gray, white, and even spotted/patched, known as piebald. They also vary size depending on where they live, some are low-slung with very thick coats while others are lithe and lanky with very short smooth coats. Both sexes grow antlers, though they are typically larger in males. The calves are solid colored from birth, they do not have the characteristic 'fawn spots' that other deer species have. Males shed their antlers in late November while females keep them and shed them in May/June. (So, theoretically, all of Santa's reindeer had to be female... or, Christmas did not happen in Winter.)

So, lets get this straight...

Reindeer are -not- Elk

Reindeer are -not- White-Tailed Deer

Reindeer are -not- Red Stags

Reindeer are -not- Moose

Reindeer are -not- Fallow Deer

Reindeer -are- Caribou

...Reindeer = Caribou [Winner] > anything else [Loser].

Now every time you go looking for Christmas themed things are the store and you see the 'reindeer', you can point laugh, and share in the snarkiness that 1 out of 100 people don't even know that reindeer are a real life animals and that they look nothing like what Christmas items depict them to be, but are in fact caribou. They are one and the same animal. Feel free to laugh. Really. Even they think it's funny.

(Female racing reindeer in Lapland.)

A Bit of an Introduction.

Welcome, one and all, to my little worldwide web bitchfest. A long time in the making.

I suppose introductions are in order:

My name is Raven. I am a 26 year old professional dog groomer, animal lover, and nature guardian/defender. Goth by nature, lover of life itself. I am a very keen on observing all. I watch and note all the things happening within the world that I think have anything to do with the things I care most for, animals, Mother Earth, nature, and the environment. I grew up in Washington State, under the glorious rainy skies and I one could easily say that I was raised by the animals I so adored looking after, dogs, horses, etc. You name it, I've probably had or taken care of it. I've shown dogs, horses, and trained both. I have a deep love of the ocean and all things having to do with marine mammals, especially Orca whales. They are my spirit animals and I am very overprotective of them. I am a deeply bonded person. In any manner of relationship, be it with humans or animals I am very committed, emotionally involved, and overprotective. I look back and think upon a time when things were far... simpler than they are now. Ah, how those were the days.

There are a lot of things in this world that really get under my skin, and sometimes I just need a place to vent and get things off of my mind lest I beat someone senseless. There are a lot of things that need changing in this world, people that need changing. So here I am. This is the place that I will be typing down all of the things that irk me, make me angry, piss me off, or otherwise weigh heavily on my mind. A lot of things will be questioning, but mostly it will be a matter of opinion, or a statement of facts, in a 'strange but true' sense, or correcting falsities with reality. See introduction. My words are the only ones I honestly need to be concerned about, though, I do promise to take into consideration and see with an open mind the viewpoints of others.

My blog is going to take off at rocket speed with a whole compendium related to Christmas being that we are right in the midst of the festive 'holly jolly' time of year and my mind has been aswirl with a whole lot of yule-tide thinking.

That being said, welcome, whole and in part, to my blog, irRationally Raven.