It's All in the Advertising Pt. II

Getting back to my advertising rant, there is another thing that really bothers me about people who are selling animals, and that is lack of grammar and piss poor spelling. It's like... most people trying to sell something didn't even make it though basic elementary school. Few of them use any kind of capitalization, punctuation, and the spelling is something that would be compared to a four year old. What people don't realize is that people like me, when we're searching through the classified ads, will specifically avoid ads that are cluttered, ill-written, and have spelling that is enough to make your eyes scream for brain bleach. The last thing I want to have to do when looking to buy something is try and decipher elementary hieroglyphics. Here are some of the common spelling issues I see when looking through animal ads...

Horse Ads:

'Theral Bred' - Thoroughbred. Your horse is bred from a sire named Theral? ...or it's from Philadelphia.

'Through Bred' - Thoroughbred. Um, bred though what? Male horse to female horse? I would hope so.

'Peer Bred' - Purebred. It was bred by those you look up to?

'Pure Bread' - Purebred. Umm... White, wheat, rye?

'Tricolour' -  I don't think so. Bay/buckskin paint.

'Palameano' - Palomino. You have a white mane/tailed golden horses that's mean?

'Philly' - Filly. Unless your baby female horse is from Philadelphia.

'Guilding' - Gelding. Your castrated male horse has well-built golden genitalia?

Dog Ads:

'Pure Breeded" - Purebred. Or bred purely for elementary teaching?

'Boarder Collie' - Border collie. Half dog, half log. I wonder what the board half is... mahogany, ebony... teak?

'Tearry' - Terrier. Apparently one with very runny eyes.

'Pappy Yawn' - Papillon. Or your tired grandpa.

'Malt Ease' - Maltese. Or a chocolate shake laced with Ex-Lax.

'Shit Zoo' - Shih tzu. Or a run down facility full of neglected animals.

'Snoozer' - Schnauzer. Or someone who is sleeping.

'Peeking Ease' - Pekinese. Or a small hole that is easy to look through.

'Nuttered' - Neutered. Or someone who lost their mind.

'Spaded' - Spayed. Or ground that has been turned over with a shovel.

'Doxie' - Dachshund. Or a small mythical little fairy... thing.

'Datsun' - Dachshund. Or a specific make and model of vehicle.

Chiwawa - Chihuahua.

'Blue Healer' - Blue Heeler. Or a smurf that's a doctor.

'Miniature Puddle' - Miniature Poodle. Or a small patch of water.

...and it goes on an on and on. I mean really... if you can't even spell the name of the breed you're trying to sell, you need to stop breeding/selling animals, get online, and learn how to operate Google.